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By RYAN ALFORD, 08/28/20, 2:30PM CDT


Turd Ferguson has reached out TO the heads of the Shalom League about his filing a cease and desist letter after the 8th week of the season for the teams playing the Ironpigs to no longer serve any of the following; “Turd Sammie” “Half Eaten Turd Sandwich without the Bread” or “Double Decker Turd Sandwich/Sammie. “  This infringes on his copyrights, patents and whatever other legal jargon can be crammed in here.  Captain Buhrow of the Baby Jays had been instructed to not get any ideas of serving any of these to the Piggies on Sunday the 23rd, and he agreed it was for the betterment of the league so Turd Ferguson doesn’t sue and possible create the league to fold due to financial ruin.

So the Baby Jays made sure they didn’t step in a turd themselves, and created the Foot Long Turd Sub to serve to the Ironpigs; enough for every little Piggy to partake.



The day started with Piggies swinging 5 base hits and 3 runs in the first inning.  Tommy 2 Guns reaching base on a error was followed by a Mr. 21 knock to get the day started.  Peter Hustle lived up to his name with an RBI single that he legged into a double.  Smalls got into the offensive mix with an RBI single himself, and Hard E Licurse finished off the hitting with a single himself.

Second inning found the Pigs’ smoking with two straight hits by JZ and Beasley Mode.  The Pigs plated a run a sac fly by Mr. 21, and then wily vet, Michael Barth retired the side.  Third inning was the last the Pigs’ would score in the game, and it was credited to a Licursesingle that brought Cova home.

Took 4 innings for HOF Barth to start serving the aforementioned  Foot Long Turd Sub to the Pigs’ O, but when he did, he served it fresh and hot and didn't have the common decency to ask if the Pigs' liked their subs toasted.  Toasted or not, the Piggies couldn’t help but feast on it only sending 13 batters to the plate in the final 3 innings.  With only 2 singles and 2 BBs to speak of for offense the last half of the game, and the Ironpigs were on the wrong side of the scoreboard, losing the game 9-5.  Now a 5 minute break, and just enough time for the Piggies to look for something wet to wash down the Baby Jays Foot Long.



Rested and refreshed, the Bacon Boys were looking for a split to finish the day of softball.  Mr. 21, Rojo Rojo, Hustle, Hard E all reached base to set the stage for the Ironpigs POW, Doug Hogan.  Mr. Positivity swung at a Barth delivery, and smashed a 2 RBI single plating Hustle and Cova.  

 Beasley Mode single in the second was all the Pigs could muster, but the 3rd inning had a run waiting for the Piggies to collect off the bat of Licurse.

Beasley Mode again singled, then scored in the 4th, but the 5th was nothing doing for the Pigs. 

Down 1, the Piggies to the top of 6th as a do or die, split or be swept scenario hanging in the balance.  JZ singled and Beasley doubled setting up a second and third, no outs situation and the offense was getting ready to erupt for the first time in 2 weeks.  Cbass rolled one over the Dylan at ss and JZ took off for home.  Heads up play by Baby Buhrow as he got the out at home, snuffing out the tying run.  Tommy and Scotty came up clutch with an RBI each to put the Pigs’ ahead by 1 going into the bottom of the inning.

The never say die Baby Jays hit the ball and loaded the bases with no outs for the Sam Cassell game winning RBI.  Congrats on the Baby Jays sweep of the Piggies!!!  Heck of a team, and even better group of guys to compete against.


Update:  The Shalom League has let the Captains and teams know that Turd Ferguson has filed a motion to add an addendum clause to the original cease and desist letter.  "Foot Long Turd Sub" has officially been added and approved to the list of items not to be served to the IRONPIGS on Sunday.