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New "Cheap Seats" Weekly Column

By Schlock 2.0, 07/07/20, 9:15AM CDT


Some of you have been asking what ever happened to Schlock the Monger so I figured I would get permission from the webmaster to start a new column and take the baton from Schlock and become the 2.0 version.  I hope you enjoy and get a few laughs from my weekly observations from the cheap seats.  I will keep my identity top secret and each week will post some of my observations of league happenings on AND off the field from Sunday's action.  Take all of this with a grain of salt as I am simply an observer here and mean no ill will or damage to anyone's enormous ego.  So let the fun begin........

     With week 1 and 2 in the books and the bye week in the rear view mirror, there were some very interesting observations to take note of.  

*  Spirit Park in Allen is a far cry from the norm of bad hops and cheap homers of Heritage Yards.  But the 8 am BEER!!!  Seeing adult men (and women) partaking in the breakfast offering of beer and tacos was a joyous site and one way overdue in Shalom league.  Not to mention the improvement that it created in some performances.  Seeing players walk around with stacks of plastic cups as evidence of their consumption prior to 9 am was impressive to say the least.  Keep on Keepin on!  Cheers!

*  Watching the players adjust to the playing surface was a bit entertaining.  Watching the stubbed toes and falls created by the well know "turf monster" made for some great theater, and some interesting "routine"  fly balls.  Seeing these old, mostly out of shape men and softball "experts" struggle to put one foot in front of the other at times was worth the watch.  Come on guys, get it together!

*  So we have our first ever female captain.  Even better is her husband is on the team.  Watching this is as entertaining as the Real Housewives or Orange County.  The verbal jabs and the looks exchanged makes me think "and I thought being a 1 came with alot of pressure.  Imagine being a 1 AND your wife being the captain".  Best of luck my man.  Long season ahead and possible Sunday nights spent on the couch.

*  With the beginning of the new season come the comical predictions and odds from guys who "study" the makeup of all the teams.  The Mel Kipers of Shalom league.  They even have a webcast or podcast or whatever you kids call it nowdays that predict the next week scores and have vegas like odds.  AMAZING!  I called my bookie to place bets to no avail.  Darn it.  Tyler and Scott are definitely the next Skip and Shannon or Mike and Mike.  The call from ESPN is definitely coming.  Remember us little people on your rise to the top.

*  The attire that I witnessed would have made Ralph Lauren envious.  The players wearing matching colors, different color socks, mismatched jerseys and hats, team logo masks, etc.  It was softball regalia on full display and it was glorious.  Watching these guys approach this as if their next paycheck depended on it was admirable.  And the team names were awesome!  Iron Pigs and Yard Goats. YESSSSSS!!!

*  The dedicated fans in the crowd was super cool to see, Girlfriends, wives, kids, relatives and such was just so cool to see.  Also watching them completely ignore the game for the food/beer truck was even cooler.  Sorry honey I missed your grounder to SS, but I was getting another beer and pizza at 10 AM!  Classic!  

Well this wraps up my observations for this week.  I will be back next week for my next installment from this coming weekend.  Please forgive me for my typos as I am getting a bit long in the tooth so the keys get smaller and smaller on these computers.  Best of luck to everyone and good health in week 3.  SHALOM!

Schlock 2.0